Chris Gunnels Random Observations

A peek inside my insanity

What If The Pharisees Had Twitter? (Credit This To Perry Noble)

Posted by gunnoles on January 13, 2010

Ok, I had to repost Perry Noble’s blog because it’s was just to freaking good not to.  All credit to my Pastor for this!  I figure if you can retweet stuff then hopefully this is ok too.

What If The Pharisees Had Twittered?

Disclaimer…some of these phrases MAY be over 140 characters, work with me!  :-)

  • “Heard this guy named Jesus teach today, not very impressed.  All He did was tell stories, didn’t really go in depth like the guys do at the tabernacle.”
  • “That Jesus guy healed a dude on the Sabbath right in front of everyone, which was so disrespectful.  Sure, it was nice that the person got healed, I just don’t agree with the way He went about it.”
  • “BIG DEAL!  So this Jesus guy fed over 5,000 men with five loaves and two pieces of fish.  Seems to me like He is just into trying to do entertaining things to get people’s attention rather than teaching them anything of substance.”
  • “The people that seem to be following Jesus and taking on some responsibilities for Him have not been to seminary…this is not acceptable!”
  • “This Jesus guy keeps talking TO and ABOUT ‘lost people.’  I think His singular focus is going to be destructive to His ministry.”
  • “This Jesus guy won’t answer any of our questions.  I think He is arrogant to not listen to us…doesn’t He understand who we are?”
  • “Jesus didn’t wash His hands before He ate a meal with me last night, I did, therefore I am so much cleaner than Him!”
  • “Jesus called me a snake/viper today, I am not quite sure that was appropriate language and I think that kind of talk is going to damage His reputation.”
  • “Jesus always calls me and my friends out for His perceived problems with us…and quite often isn’t very ‘loving’ in the way He does it.  I think He has temper issues and should stop being so reactive.”
  • “Jesus keeps hanging out with the wrong people…doesn’t He know that the people who are closest to Him don’t have their act together?”
  • “Jesus lost His temper today and threw things and people out of the temple.  His irreverence for the things that matter to me is quite disturbing.”
  • “This guy Jesus waters down His teachings, the way He is presenting things ANYONE can be forgiven!”
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